This is Part I in a mini-series on life, community, and digging roots in Seattle.
Seattle is a difficult place to live.
I learned this early on when my family moved to the great Northwest. I was nine years old. I was about to start fourth grade at my fifth elementary school. Let’s just say I was used to being the new girl. I didn’t enjoy it, I deeply missed Texas, but I knew how to find my niche and make a few friends.
It was a very long time–years really–before I felt like I had any friends in Washington.
I remember my parents talking about how our town was difficult to break into: most kids had already been friends for years before I came onto the scene, and while most of them were nice enough, they didn’t take too kindly to outsiders.
Years later, having moved out of state and returned to Seattle proper as a married woman, I can safely say that the isolation and superficial interactions weren’t limited to my small town, elementary school experience.
Seattle is a difficult place to worm your way into. People say they want to hang out, but don’t initiate. They rarely RSVP to events, and if they do, they may or may not actually come. Conversations are guarded and often about weather. Within months of moving here, I had lots of acquaintances, even more Facebook friends, and very few actual relationships.
Last month, one of the pastors at our church identified my experience as the Seattle Freeze. Soon after, this NPR article started floating around the interwebs, and several of my friends have posted and reposted it on Facebook. They bemoan the distant culture in Seattle, and I know that song well. It’s part of why I miss our community in Portland and part of why I struggled with our decision to stay in Seattle now that Mike has graduated.
It seems we Seattlites are left with a difficult choice:
A) Remain lonely and/or complain about the problem
B) Move to another city
C) Forge a new path
Mike and I have decided to work toward option C, which I am going to explore more in future posts. We’ve actually been walking this road long before I had language for my experience. As people of God living here, we are called to engage Seattle, not how we want it to be, but as it is: aloof, impersonal, intelligent, beautiful, wired on coffee, and longing to be known and valued. Pursuing relationship in Seattle consistently requires determination and risk. It is not for everybody, but it is for us.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I think this is wonderful. I wish I had more descriptive words for what I’m feeling as I read this, but I don’t. This is a very important task and I’m excited to hear more about your journey.
Beautifully written…would love to talk about this sometime.
I switched computers and lost your blog, but I have found it again! I HEAR you about making friends. It’s no better in the new-moms scene. Here’s to forging a new path and having a hubby who wants to do it with you!